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By Geoff Ritter
updated: 5/9/2020 5:11 PM

See that word? I've checked the dictionaries, scanned the newspapers and crawled across Google, and I present it to you today for the very first time.

Humbly submitted:

Bipocrisy (noun): The phenomenon occurring when one's attempt to expose hypocrisy in another unintentionally reveals one's own equal and opposing hypocrisy.

See the cartoon above? Perfect example. Were an internet meme artist so inclined, he or she might swap a few words and completely invert the meaning.

While the accusation of hypocrisy, as presented, is that the left will believe all women until it becomes politically inconvenient, the message is easily flipped to show the equal, opposing bias of the accuser, who has done the same and likely will again.

That's bipocrisy. Word.

Known colloquially as the "I'm rubber, you're glue" principle (or, when committed by someone over age 55, simply the "OK Boomerang"), bipocrisy is meme-ready and all around us.

You saw it when that MAGA bumpkin from high school shared the nugget about how if you support Rep. Rashida Tlaib calling the president a [term meaning copulation with one's own mother], you're a hypocrite for then criticizing the president's potty mouth. Sure, pal. We'll just use our nice words from now on. You start.

And the pot-smoking socialist down the dorm hall is filled with the same brand of double-bladed dopery. By his logic, if you support armed protestors standing for their rights on courthouse steps, but not football players taking a knee during the National Anthem to protest inequality, you're a hypocrite.

But that guy doesn't care a lick about your right to carry a gun. He won't help you defend it. He doesn't carry a gun. He doesn't even carry a driver's license.

In large part, this word's very existence -- bipocrisy -- is owed to our increasingly ossified public discourse, which demands absolute fealty to one side or the other. Anything and everything is a grenade to lob in the other direction, and no grenade is more explosive than the accusation of hypocrisy.

Thus, we find Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel tossing out this gem to ABC News regarding Democrats' muted response to sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden: "It went from 'me too, me too, me too' to 'move on, move on, move on' in a nanosecond because he's a Democrat."

Even noted genital grabber Donald Trump took a more modest tone on that one: "All of a sudden you become a wealthy guy, you're a famous guy, then you become president. And people that you've never seen, that you've never heard of, make charges. I would just say to Joe Biden, 'Just go out and fight it.'"


For all the pride I will take in this rare etymological accomplishment, it's clear my new word's very existence represents a far more devastating grenade. No longer is falling short of your own lofty ideals the most abhorrent crime you can commit in a comment section.

With the advent of this new vocabulary term, we now have the rhetorical tool needed to add mathematical exponent to any charge of hypocrisy. We can twist it up, double it up and turn it back like whiplash. We can keep tossing that grenade like the hot potato it is.

I know. Perhaps you, too, still want to try this nifty new idiom, but like me worry about the consequences. Those, of course, include someone inevitably lobbing the charge right back at you.

But if this development means someone is tossing a new grenade my way, evolving social custom will force me to lob it right back -- and I'll come up with an even bigger, even better turn of phrase to describe their obvious failure to adhere to sound and consistent ideological values.

That's right: Starting now, it's on, maternally minded copulators. You've been put on notice.

So go ahead and give it a try: bipocrisy. It's fun to say, and you'll enjoy the side of smug superiority, too. This is proper escalation in nine carefully crafted, painstakingly arranged letters.


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